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What is This Site All About?
I am convinced that the only key to Downtown
Fresno's revitalization is an IKEA store. I am making this site in order to court IKEA and so that I may be the guest
of honor when the store opens. I want to be waved to the front of the line every time I wish to buy something and I
want to be served immediatly when I am in line at the food court. I want to to be the patron-saint of IKEA, much as
Angel Arreano is the patron-saint of the Chaffee Zoo. Thanks for coming!
Tyler Durden's Thoughts About IKEA
"You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa
I will ever
need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a
couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong,
at least you've
got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set
of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then
you're
trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used
to own, now they own you."
- Fight Club, chapter 5
"And
I wasn't the only slave to my nesting instinct.
The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom
with pornography,
now they sit in the bathroom
with their IKEA furniture catalogue."
- Fight Club, chapter 5
IKEA Love Story
OK, here's what happened:
It was the third week that I made the trek
to visit my girlfriend in Sacramento from my home in Fresno. We were at a rocky point in our relationship and times were hard
in the city of Sacramento. The taste of an impending breakup was in the back of my mouth, but I chewed it back and submitted
to servitude with this woman that I loved so completly.
"Let's go to IKEA," she said.
Me, being the desperate man
that I was, asked, "How far away is it?"
She batted her pretty Asian eyes at me and said, "Its past Davis."
Davis
was only about thirty miles from where we were, so I agreed and we began the journey to IKEA.
The entire trip was filled
with laughter, sharing of emotions, professions of love, and promises of things to come. I loved this woman with all of my
heart and I was so enamoured with her that I didn't notice anything amiss until we entered Vallejo. I looked around and asked,
"How much further is IKEA? We passed Davis over an hour ago."
She smiled and batted her eyes once again. "It's in Emeryville.
That's only about a half-hour from here."
That's when the traffic stopped and we had to sit at a stand-still for over
an hour. It seems that somebody decided to make a lane-change in front of a tractor-trailer and didn't calculate the legnth
of his car correctly.
So after we started to move once again, I started to get angry. Sitting in traffic is one thing
that bothers me. After some kind words from my girlfriend, we pulled off the road at Emeryville and again we had to fight
traffic to get into the IKEA parking lot. I figured that it must be a nice store if people are fighting to get into the parking
lot. I was right.
We entered the store and had a grand time shopping and conversating about world events. We even ate
at the food court and I fell in love with all things IKEA.
I have to say that IKEA saved my relationship with the woman
who is now my wife. We love retelling the IKEA story over and over. For the love of God, please let IKEA come to Fresno. Please.
Ode to IKEA - By Muqtadir
The new wave of Vikings has landed on our shores. This time they come swinging
modular furniture instead of axes. May they be victorious.
IKEA Humor
(from http://www.chriskula.com)
The Swedes are, as a people, nothing if not cunning.
The IKEA mega-store closest to Manhattan is a half-hour
away in Elizabeth, New Jersey, yet those purveyors of affordable, inflatable living solutions still manage to lure in the
city dwellers by offering a free weekend shuttle bus. And if there is one uniting trait amongst New Yorkers, it is that they
will never pass up a chance to spend time in Port Authority.
Yesterday was my first trip out to that massive Jërsëy
sprawl, and I documented what the Swedish call "skämtsam profilen," or "things that I saw and thought were funny as hell."
The efficient Swedes encourage you to maintain a shopping list while browsing the store, and they even set up
various "Calculation Stations" where shoppers can tally up how far $7.99 will go in the way of lime-green plastic butter cozies.
(VERY far.)
One of the appeals to IKEA, I suppose, is the exoticism of the Euro design titles. I saw a bed named the
Delselv, and a shelf called the Grundtal...
...and this chair, which goes by "Roger."
Furthermore...
Nyhammar:
"bench with storage," or Tampa grindcore band?
In setting up their sample home decor, the IKEAns spared no expense
in fleshing out the amenities of the modern American home.
CD player by PROPS, receiver by the always dependable Prop
Tronics.
One of the true delights of the IKEA store is the self-contained cafeteria, which offers up to hungry shoppers
such Swedish food court staples as open-face shrimp sandwiches, lox platters, and the refreshing if but Hogwartsian "lingonberry
juice."
I opted instead for the national meatballs.
It was only $3.99 for 10 meatballs, russet potatoes, and
cranberry sauce.
I did the math and... yes, that IS a good deal.
I know very little about the social makeup
of the Swedes, but the more I walked around their bright and cheery store, the more I began to sense a darker undertone...
It seems that in Sweden the Jews are allowed to celebrate only FIVE days of Hanukkah.
It seems that in
Sweden the most popular toy is "Gestalta," a 13" Nazi.
It seems that in Sweden, children are going for 12 bucks apiece!!
It's cool, I purchased a small boy. I've named him Roger.
Yeah - "bye-bye" to you, too, IKEA.
What is IKEA?
The company was founded by Ingvar Kamprad at age 17 in 1943. The company name is a composite of
the first letters in his name and the names of the property and the village in which he grew up: Ingvar Kamprad Elmtaryd Agunnaryd.
This acronym is incidentally similar to the Greek word οικία [oikia] (home) and to the Finnish word
oikea (correct).
IKEA Barkarby
IKEA in Kungens Kurva, just south of Stockholm, SwedenOriginally IKEA sold
pens, wallets, picture frames, table runners, watches, jewelry and nylon stockings or practically anything Kamprad found a
need for that he could fill with a product at a reduced price. Furniture was first added to the IKEA product range in 1947
and, in 1955, IKEA began to design its own furniture. The company motto is: "Well designed affordable quality furniture to
the many people".
At first Kamprad sold his goods out of his home and by mail order, but eventually a store was opened
in the nearby town of Älmhult. It was also the location for the first IKEA "warehouse" store which came to serve as a model
for IKEA establishments elsewhere and on March 23, 1963, the first store outside Sweden was opened in Asker, a Norwegian municipality
outside Oslo. (The store was located in the same building which houses the Bellevue hotel, about two km from the present site
at Billingstad/Slependen, which opened in 1975. The store in Asker is currently undergoing a major expansion and remodeling.)
As a result of the sliding value of the U.S. dollar, Kamprad has now (according to Swedish news sources, somewhat
discussed) overtaken Bill Gates to become the richest man in the world [3]. IKEA however denies this assertion, saying that
IKEA should not be counted as part of Kamprad's assets as he no longer owns the company. Others argue that this is a matter
of definition as the chain is owned by a foundation controlled by the Kamprad family. Forbes magazine continues to list Gates
as #1, placing Kamprad at #6.
Products
IKEA furniture is well known for its modern (often
unusual) design. Also, because much of it is self-assembly furniture (also known as "flat-pack"), it is designed to be assembled
by the consumer rather than being sold pre-assembled. IKEA claims this permits them to reduce costs and use of packaging by
not shipping air—the volume of a bookcase, for example, is considerably less if it is shipped unassembled rather than
assembled.
IKEA also claims to have pioneered the use of more sustainable approaches to mass consumer culture. Its
founder calls it "democratic design," meaning that the company applies an integrated approach to manufacturing and design
(see also environmental design). Responding to the explosion of human population—and material expectations—in
the 20th century, the company has mastered economies of scale, capturing material streams and creating manufacturing processes
that hold costs and resource use down, such as the extensive use of particle board. The intended result is flexible, adaptable
home furnishings, scaleable both to larger homes and smaller dwellings.
IKEA has also expanded their product base
to include flat-pack houses, in an effort to cut prices involved in a first-time buyer's home. The product, named BoKlok was
launched in Sweden in 1996 in a joint venture with Skanska. Now working in the Nordic countries and in UK, sites confirmed
in England include London, Manchester, Leeds and Liverpool.
Community impact
IKEA's goals of sustainability
and environmental design in their merchandise may be trumped by the impact a new IKEA store can have on a community:
Like
all big-box stores, IKEA stores draw consumers from a very large area. Although they were in the U.S. before the United Kingdom
and other European countries, IKEA had very few stores until recently. Because they have few stores, they often drew consumers
from out of state. The handful of American cities which accepted IKEA stores were delighted by the subsequent surge in sales
tax revenue, yet dismayed at the accompanying surge in traffic congestion.
For example, when an IKEA opened in April
2000 in Emeryville, California, the traffic was so severe that most local traffic lights were rendered useless. Emeryville
police were forced to manually direct traffic daily for three months. When an IKEA opened in Tempe, Arizona in November 2004,
the traffic jams on Interstate 10 were so severe that the Arizona Department of Public Safety had to close the nearest off-ramp
to the store just to spread out the traffic among other nearby off-ramps.
IKEA's most popular store in Brent Park,
London frequently has traffic jams on the weekends.
A new store opened in Edmonton, North London at midnight on 10
February 2005. It attracted over 6,000 visitors due to huge opening discounts in the first three opening hours and resulted
in a number of casualties as people were crushed in the rush to get into the store. The store was closed after only 30 minutes
(due to the large number of customers there were inadequate security staff and police). The store was re-opened at 5pm on
11 February 2005 with no additional incident.
Minding the above problems, the store at Atlantic Station in Atlanta
opened on 29 June 2005 with 20 off-duty police officers directing traffic. That store is its first in the Southeast U.S.,
its third-largest in North America, and the only one to serve grits. The first person in line had been there a week.
The
Stoughton, Massachusetts store opened on 9 November 2005. Nearby highways were at a standstill; approaching the store from
less than 1 mile took upwards of an hour. IKEA employees indicated that on the first Saturday of operation, the Stoughton
store would have sales of $1-1.2M. Over 300,000 visitors were expected on the first weekend of operation.
Store
Format
Newer IKEA stores are usually very large blue boxes with few windows. They are often designed around a
mandatory "one-way" layout which forces consumers to traverse nearly all parts of the store before reaching the cashier or
check-out stands. The sequence involves going through furniture showrooms (showroom) and housewares (market-hall) first, then
the warehouse where one collects flatpacks for products seen in the showrooms, and then the cashier.
This design is
intended to make customers encounter products which they might not have thought to look for, but has the disadvantage of inconveniencing
consumers who already know what they want to buy and just want to return to the warehouse area.
Recently, in some
stores, shortcuts have been introduced between various sections, making travel time through the store much shorter if necessary.
However, though they may be indicated on store maps, these shortcuts are often not obvious so an inexperienced IKEA shopper
is likely to overlook them and travel through the whole layout of the store.
Whilst the original design involved the
warehouse on the lower level and the showroom and markethall on the upper, some stores (including the Leeds, UK store) are
single-level bungalow-style stores. Some operate separate additional warehouses for the larger or less popular flatpacks to
keep the size of the customer warehouse down (and therefore less daunting) and allow more stock to be kept on-site at any
given time. Unfortunately this occasionally results in customers being unable to find the goods they paid for at the cashier
without direction from staff and the impression of queueing twice (once at the cashier, once at the external warehouse). However,
there are few complaints about being able to collect goods quicker from the customer warehouses.
Many stores include
restaurants serving typically Swedish food, and beverages such as lingonberry juice. The restaurant area is usually the one
place in the store where there are large windows. Outside of Sweden these restaurants are sometimes complemented by mini-shops
selling Swedish-made, Swedish-style groceries. As would be expected with IKEA, you can buy IKEA's specialities, such as Swedish
meatballs, in parts (i.e. the ingredients) at these stores and assemble it (i.e. simple, straightforward food preparation)
at home. Currently in Canada, IKEA is featuring a $1 breakfast including scrambled eggs, sausage, and a croissant. It is quite
popular and is only available from store opening to 11:00 AM. A similar promotion including bacon, roasted potatoes, and scrambled
eggs, is being offered in most US stores for 99¢.
The Miracle of IKEA
Visit this site and read this author's
investigative report on how IKEA came into existance and how it continues to change the way that people do business!
EMAILS TO IKEA
I sent an email to IKEA telling them that the city of
Fresno demands an IKEA store. This is how IKEA responded to my demand:
Thank you for your interest in IKEA. We
are always happy to hear
from our customers.
IKEA plans to open 5 new stores a year for 10 years as part of an
aggressive expansion plan of 50 new stores. We will initially focus
on serving our existing markets, and then move
into new markets that
we believe are compatible with the unique IKEA concept. We already
are on track for this year
with the following new store openings:
Bolingbrook, IL Fall 2005
Stoughton, MA Fall 2005
West Sacramento,
CA Spring 2006
Canton, MI Summer 2006
At this time, we do not have specific opening dates; when detailed
information
becomes available, it will be posted on our website.Â
IKEA is also in the process of proposing stores that would open
in
2006 and 2007. Be sure to visit our website and stay tuned for store
locations as our plans become definite.Â
For your convenience, we
have also provided the link to our store locator where you can stay
up to date with the latest
IKEA store information:
http://www.ikea.com/ms/en_US/ikny_splash.html
You can be the first to hear about special offers, the latest web
exclusives and more by subscribing to IKEA's
email list:
http://info.ikea-usa.com/IkeaOptin/Registration.aspx
We hope this information has been helpful.
Best Regards,
IKEA Customer Care Center
FORGET RED HOOK!!! Bring IKEA to Fresno!
Some idiots in the Red Hook area of Brooklyn don't want
an IKEA in their city. Fine ... BRING IKEA TO FRESNO!!! You see, we aren't a bunch of crybabies who will look down upon a
potential for downtown revitalization, job creation, and superior products! We will buy anything from IKEA! BUILD IT AND I
WILL COME!!!
Here are some of the arguments made by anti-IKEA morons in Red Hook with my rebuttals in italics:
DON’T
BE MISLED BY IKEA’S PROMISES
No residents of Park Slope, Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill, & Brooklyn Heights want
their communities to become strip malls with traffic and pollution, yet the IKEA plan does just that. It will kill tourism
opportunities in the area, spoil a precious and unique waterfront, tear down historic buildings, and ruin Red Hook’s
revitalization.
Red Hook? Who ever heard of that place? Tourism? Is there a big tourist
industry in Brooklyn? If you are against IKEA, then you are against America. God Bless America and God Bless IKEA.
IS MUCH WORSE THAN THE OTHERS COMBINED
ONLY IKEA brings up to 2.5 million cars per year. This is more cars than
Lowes, Fairway, The Carnival Lines and Home Depot combined.
IKEA always builds grand
entrance roads and multi-level parking for each of its stores. Quit being dumb and notice a good thing when it is presented
to you.
DRIVES JOBS OUT OF RED HOOK AND ITS SURROUNDING COMMUNITIES
Red Hook’s small businesses employ
3 times what IKEA will employ. Yet IKEA’s traffic will dramatically slow their delivery truck routes & employee
commutes.
If small businesses offer superior products, they have nothing to fear.
IKEA is great for people on lower incomes because their furniture is inexpensive and is of acceptable quality. Get off of
your high-horses and visit an IKEA and see if you don't buy anything!
Local manufacturers in Greenpoint &
Sunset Park, that make similar products & pay higher wages, will suffer from loss of business. The shipyard where IKEA
will be located will lose 150 good paying jobs alone.
Those local manufacturers supply
stores that are not located in the local area. Their market is a different one, and besides, isn't competition good for the
consumer?
BRINGS MORE BIG BOX STORES
The IKEA project, and its zoning changes, will only bring more big
box stores to the neighborhood, reversing 10 years of revitalization. WAL-MART, which causes the loss of several jobs for
every 1 they provide, has already been scouting locations in Red Hook.
Would you
rather create more smog and waste more gasoline in order to keep Red Hook "IKEA-free?" People want to shop at all of the big-box
stores, and if you keep those stores out of Red Hook, you are creating more environmental damage by forcing consumers to drive
longer distances.
DESTROYS HISTORIC BUILDINGS
IKEA’s plan is to destroy historic Civil War era buildings,
not to preserve these ship yard structures. Once they are gone they will be gone forever.
Out with the old, in with the new. The best way to revitalize an area is to plow under all of the old, derelict buildings
and create new shiney ones that people actually want to shop in.
CAUSES BUILDINGS TO COLLAPSE
Red Hook
is built on landfill, and is extremely sensitive to vibrations of heavy traffic. 7 Buildings have collapsed already on Van
Brunt St. IKEA’s traffic will further endanger residents’ houses.
If
your house is in danger of collapse, MOVE!!! Plow under those rat-infested garbage-heaps and build something that won't collapse.
MISREPRESENTS THE TRAFFIC PATTERNS
Sam Schwartz, IKEA’S traffic consultant, is telling local residents
that IKEA customers will use the highway, despite writing in his book, New York Shortcuts and Traffic Tips, “When traveling
south in Brooklyn avoid the trench (BQE)…use [local streets] instead.”
People
will use the highway. It is human nature. And how many people actually read the New York Shortcuts and Traffic Tips? Quit
being dumb.
CAUSES ASTHMA & HEART DISEASE & CANCER RATES TO INCREASE
Studies show increases in
exhaust emissions will increase asthma attacks, heart disease, and cancer rates. Children are especially vulnerable. As roughly
700 diesel trucks and busses working in Red Hook combine with IKEA’s trucks and 8000 cars each day, gridlock will result.
The idling traffic’s emissions will fill the air.
How much emissions are caused
by people driving great distances to get IKEA products? And isn't Red Hook a coastal area? How is smog going to stay in town
if the coastal breeze blows all pollutants out to sea?
CAUSES MAJOR DELAYS FOR BUSES
IKEA will cause major
delays along the entire route of the 77 & 61 bus lines, especially in peak store hours, making passengers late going to
& returning from school & work.
More riders means more money for mass-transit
in Red Hook. It will boost the economy and the bus lines and trains will add more capacity when they sell out regularly.
PUTS CHILDREN IN HARMS WAY
By creating a wall of traffic through the middle of Red Hook’s pool and recreational
areas on Bay and Columbia Streets, dangers to the young (and old alike) will dramatically increase. Traffic and Children do
not mix!
If you are not smart enough to stay out of the road when a car is coming,
maybe you don't deserve to be alive. Dawrinism needs to weed out the stupid so that the gene-pool will become more purified.
SLOWS EMERGENCY RESPONSE TIMES
IKEA’s traffic will slow the response times of emergency vehicles throughout
the area. The closing of fire houses #204 in Cobble Hill and # 278 in Sunset Park has left those communities more dependant
on Red Hook’s firehouse.
The city will reopen firehouses when the current ones
become overburdened. Talk to your local officals.
REDUCES STREET PARKING AND SIDEWALKS
IKEA’s parking
lot is smaller than in Elizabeth but with more customer visits planned. The city and IKEA will have no choice but to widen
streets, reducing sidewalks & safety, and allow customers to park on residential streets.
IKEA always builds sufficent parking for its stores. It would be bad for business if people cannot park at their stores.
It is in their interest to provide adequate parking.
PITS A COMMUNITY AGAINST ITSELF
IKEA’s plan
is not to unite a community, but to try to use groups against each other (Economy vs. Environment), by failing to give an
honest report of its stores environmental problems, and overstating its economic benefits.
You wackos can't see that IKEA is good for the community. You don't deserve and IKEA store. I implore IKEA to abandon
the Red Hook project and shift it to Fresno, California. We would welcome you with open arms. God Bless IKEA.
IMAGINE
Imagine downtown Fresno with an IKEA located at right off of the Van Ness exit from Highway 41.
Imagine
that all of the derelict houses are bulldozed and an IKEA rising from the ashes.
Imagine security guards strolling all
around the multi-level parking while keeping all panhandlers, vagrants, and vagabonds from soliciting or pestering the customers
of the new IKEA.
Imagine the vitality that could be born from an IKEA store in the midst of downtown.
Imagine a huge
entertainment complex being built in downtown Fresno ... a River Park for the working class.
Imagine another Best Buy
... this one will have every checkout lane open during Christmas season.
Imagine IKEA in all of its glory in Fresno.
Imagine
how happy we will be.
Imagine me saying, "I TOLD YOU SO!"
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